I am so frustrated…
I don’t know where to begin here. I want a few things in my life that are just outside my grasp. Suddenly I feel closer to them and then just as quickly something comes along to remind me I’m not as close to it as I thought.
An example of this… I REALLY want to be back at WW. But Christmas is coming, I have to put snow tires on my car and that leaves me with no start up cash to rejoin. Really frustrates me because I’m trying on my own. I did actually lose 2.2 pounds this week. FINALLY! However I know I need that support network and yet it is outside my grasp.
Maybe I just hate how my life right now is all about how much money I don’t have. Mind you I keep telling myself in a few months it won’t be like that. Tires will be on the car, Christmas will be over. I’ll be saving for Toronto, and a couch set and before you know it I’ll have some savings and be moving back into the city. I know it’s not that far off. Just feels that way right now. I just need to get through it. I know that. It’s just difficult and frustrating.
Outside of these issues, work is going well. We have a bit of stress right now because we have to change a few processes to fine tune things, however I think it is within our grasp. Just need to buckle down and I think if everyone does, and we all share the same vision we’ll do alright.
As for actual Christmas…I am working on prezzies today. I’m excited about them, I can only hope they turn out the way I want. It will be an inexpensive yet thoughtful way to spread the holiday cheer. I am buying for a few people I didn’t last year, but there are also a few I am not buying for so I think it balances out.
So I have to get to work on that today as I have to mail out a friends box of stuff soon. So I need to make sure everything is ready to go in it! before this coming Friday.
Ξ November 23rd, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Life |
I am finally over the cold I’ve been fighting. At least I think I am. It has been a busy weekend. Thinking back I am trying to remember the weekend even though yesterday I spent most of it at home working on Christmas Crafts it was still productive and considered *busy*.
Friday night we went to see the much anticipated Twilight. The boys can make fun of it all they want but Tara and I LOVED it. In fact I sort of want to go see it again so perhaps I can pay more attention and not just be so rapt up in how many lines were taken from the book.
We also went to see Chicago last night, performed by SJTC. An excellent show. Very impressed with their use of the stage and props. Simplistic yet effective. I ran into an old friend and it was nice to catch up. I look forward to getting out for coffee with her in the near future!
After the show we went to Steve and Tara’s for Juls Bday party. Many drinks we consumed. Many laughs were had.
Today I helped move Juls stuff to Dale’s place. The day was longer than I anticipated but I survived. I find myself very tired tonight so I am sure to be off to bed soon.
I wanted to talk more about Twilight but I’ll compile something later and post it. I feel like curling up with some reading and tunes before sleeping.
I’ll do my best to update again later this week. I need to make use of this space as once again this year it has been given to me by my dearest friend Jim Twitchaby!
Many thanks my friend. 
~Squigzella
Been a good week. Weather has been mild but wet for what seems like forever. I oddly feel like we have switched coasts of Canada and someone forgot to mention it to me. I had hoped to go out today to run downtown to do a few errands but I hear parts of the Valley are without power and it is just plain icky out.
So today will be spent working on Christmas Cards and Crafts. Not such a bad idea.
I have my lists made of who I need to buy for. I have a good idea for everyone, so it shouldn’t be too difficult this year. That being said I have some personal expenses I need to take care of first which could cause me some issues, but I am going to try to figure it out. Licensing of car, renewal of insurance… all a pain in my butt, because I also need WINTER TIRES! Which I still don’t have. *cries*
That is stressing me out just a little bit.
Went to see The Spencers at the Imperial on Thursday. Hil scored us some tickets from work. It was a traditional magic show. It was kewl. I don’t know if I would have paid for tickets, but it was entertaining.
Going to see Chicago this upcoming weekend. Can’t wait! Think it is going to be pretty awesome. Friday night is TWILIGHT! 5 Sleeps!
Spent the day shopping with Gerry yesterday. He got new shoes. I got new undies which were much needed. Started back on completely counting points today. Going to see how it goes.
Sunday Points eaten and planned:
Bacon (4)
Eggs (4)
WW Toast (3)
3 Cookies (3)
Ham (3)
Beans(4)
2 Plums (2)
1/2 Pom (1)
Total: 24 Balance : 6
Send me your supportive vibes. I need’ em. Even though I haven’t gained, I finally don’t feel like I’ve lost anything at all because I have stayed the same size too long… LOL so it’s time to get down a jean size. It’s overdue!
~squigzella
It has been far too long since I updated. I have been fighting a cold for the past few days. It seems to have gotten to it’s worst here today, so I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll be feeling better.
I find myself lost in this very strange place lately. I’ve sort have been locked in my own prison of thoughts for awhile now trying to sort them out. Make it all make sense. For awhile I thought I needed some type of anti-depressant to help me figure things out. Then in a moment of weakness I cried, for the first time in a very long time and I admitted out loud in front of another human being what was eating me pretty much alive. What is strange is that build up of emotion, once released made a huge difference. It is still there, but is no longer governing everything else. Maybe to tell someone what I felt, and not have them rip into me for it is what I needed. I am not quite sure. All I know is I do not regret any decisions I have made, I regret that I did not take more time to see all the paths before me.
So all my ducks are lined in a row. Everything sorted out. Everything becoming clear. I’m slowly figuring out where I belong and where I do not. More and more lately as my career continues to be successful, other aspects of my life are slowly coming into order and into place. I have been my own worst enemy when it comes to finding a partner for this journey called life. I have had some excellent time for reflection… Change is coming…and it’s scary but also exciting.
Wow… that was all pretty deep. Let’s switch gears.
Work is going well. I’m busy all of the time. I will do my best not to say ALWAYS, because apparently that is a word along with NEVER that is used to frequently to make something more dramatic… and I am trying to stray from my Drama Queen ways. I’d like to pass the mantle on to someone else thanks..
Living at home has it’s ups and downs. I am looking forward to spending the Holiday with my family. It is something that was very special to us before Grampy passed 4 years ago. This year I vowed to myself to make it special again. Fill these halls with smiles, laughter and good times. I think I have my work cut out for me, however I am up to task.
I have maintained my weight. I have had other financial obligations that need straightened away before I can focus on the gym or weight watchers again. I’m hoping to be ready to commit back to it BEFORE the new years resolution rush.
14 Sleeps until we go see Twilight. I am SOOOO excited. I wish I had the first book here this weekend so I could re-read it. I may try to find an online copy just to get me all revved up for it again. Edward Cullen, I can’t wait to meet you… and your big brow on the big screen!
I have rambled on longer than I thought…but in the closing of this note for some reason some far away friends are in my thoughts today. Phil, Jody and Indi… all of you crossed my thoughts today. I hope life is well, and I cannot wait to see you all in a few short months!
X’s and O’s from the desk of a diva,
~Squigzella
