Squigzella.com

Well the past week has been…well it just has been.
On the food, eating and Weight Watchers front I’m doing well. I was down. I’ve been making healthy choices.
Mind you the past two days feel like a write off, but I didn’t go overboard, just could have made better choices than I did.

I think I’m doing good considering.

So last Friday my Dad went in to potentially get two stints done in the arteries going to his heart. Both were too blocked to be done.
So now within the next 2-3 weeks he will go in for bypass surgery. He has (4) blockages. They are going to try to take veins from his chest before moving to his leg.
He will be laid up a minimum of 6 weeks for recovery.

Needless to say this was quite a blow to him, who thought this stint would fix him right up. A blow to the rest of us who just didn’t expect something so potentially life threatening to take place.

He is lucky, the Dr even said so. If they didn’t find this, on a fluke at that, he would have just taken the big one, and that would be it.
This is a very sensitive topic for me. I’ve had a hard time talking about it outside of the conversations in my own head.
I lost my grandfather, who I was very close with 9 years this March, due to heart issues. The thought of my Dad even going into surgery fills me with knuckle whitening terror. People can tell me it will be okay, that it’s done everyday, and on the outside I smile, nod and totally agree. On the inside, I am a little girl who is absolutely terrified of a world without her Daddy.

On top of all this, CAiNE of course is just two months away. We have a ton of work to get done. I’m putting in about an hour a day right now to make sure nothing falls off the radar, and I will potentially have to move as well because with Dad out of work, Mom and Dad may just have to put the house up and live more modestly, thus forcing me to move before my April/May plan.

My ever optimistic self needs to realize, I’m not alone. I have friends to be there to get me through all this hard stuff. Still, when sitting here staring at the blaring white screen and blinking cursor… it doesn’t always feel like a room full of friends.

Forgive me if the blog becomes a place to get some thought off my chest in the coming weeks. I just need it to escape my own head.

This weekend I am going to cook from “The Book”. I’ll let you know what I make, and how it turns out. Seriously contemplating Eggs Benny with Julia’s Hollandaise.

For the love of life and love of food,

~Squigzella