Mood: Obsessive.

So it’s day three of tracking. Doing well. Today I hit my mark on points even. Because I wanted to indulge a wee bit.

I made Julia’s Chocolate Mousse! It was amazing. Starting to think it all is going to be delicious! How did her husband live to such an old age eating so much butter?!

Not much to complain about. Got some news about my Dad’s health that has me concerned. If all goes well he’ll be fine. He has about 5 more of his 9 lives left. So I just have to keep that in mind.

Got some work done on CAINE stuff this week. May do some more tonight.

Really need some new music on my playlist. Totally open to new bands or suggestions. I’ve worn out Mumford and Sons along with Adele and James Butler Trio.

Now to post some long overdue photos!

Photos: L-R : Robert picking his pumpkin, Thanksgiving Table, Dad

Kaylee Monster, My Tree 2011, Javier the Christmas Flamingo Escaping

Javier the Christmas Flamingo COOKED!

It was a year of ups and downs that is for certain. I struggled with my weight and maintained, I started forging a plan to either rent or buy a townhouse. I bought some furniture for this future home. I did a bit of self discovery. I made some changes in how I treat people and who I have in my life. I learned the value of family, even when they drive you crazy. I have my Nan with me for another year. She beat cancer!

2012

This year has started off better than the years before it. There are some personal things going on that are simply wonderful. I know there will be challenges along the way, but I couldn’t have asked for more. Like a good friend I am going to make some commitments to myself this year.

The year I turn 34…

I will blog at LEAST once a week.

I will maintain my weight, if not lose a bit more, reaching one small weight goal at a time.

I will stay in touch with my friends far away, and build on the new friendships I have made.

I will give my all in March for CAINE 2012, and be thankful for everyone’s efforts, big or small.

I endeavor to treat others as I would like to be treated no matter how much it pains me to do so. This is a learning experience.

I will continue to write, and this year I will work on publishing my works on their own website.

I will cook from my Mastering the Art of French Cooking Cookbook at least twice a month.

All in all, not a bad list.

I look forward to my birthday this year, and spending it with friends and loved ones. I look forward to March and seeing friends who I haven’t seen in a year or more.

I look forward to traveling to Ottawa in April and St. Louis in the summer.

Bring it on 2012.

I’m ready for you.

X’s and O’s

~Squigzella

Outside of that I did find my scrapbooking supplies as well which reminds me once again I need to print off new photos and get back to that hobby, which I have always enjoyed but never really had a lot of money to sink into it. I think I am going to take some money out of my next pay and get some photos done and go from there.

Back to the event planner notion. I have some ideas, and a few things I want to be really good at before I venture into the world of special occasion planning. But it’s in my bonnet and growing. Kind of exciting to be creative about something again. Feels like it’s been awhile.

It has also been awhile since I’ve been back at Weight Watchers… I’m bad. I want to lose the weight but my head just isn’t there, I want it to be there. I think I might just suck it up, go back and vow to not quit. I have a goal in mind, I’ve been successful before, I’m not sure why all of the sudden I have self doubt. Just need to get back on the horse. We’ll see if I’m there on Saturday….

Until then, stay frosty.

PS  How many sleeps boys?

I’ve been sick for quite a few days with this horrible chest demon. It won’t leave. I was home sick from work which pained me because I know what is waiting for me when I get back…chaos. It managed to be calm for the past two days which means all hell is due to break loose when I get back to the office. Here is hoping I am wrong.

Carter left this morning. He will be in BC for a week or orientation then he’s off to Japan for a year. I am really going to miss him. I am just thankful for emails so we can keep in touch. I can’t wait to read his blog www.carterinjapan.com to hear all about his adventures. Yeah that was a shameless plug for his blog.

35 sleeps until the trip, filed my taxes, so happy pay day is on Friday…

That about wraps it up for me for the moment…

X’s and O’s with Bon Voyage painted across my toes,

~Squigzella

I find myself lost in this very strange place lately. I’ve sort have been locked in my own prison of thoughts for awhile now trying to sort them out. Make it all make sense. For awhile I thought I needed some type of anti-depressant to help me figure things out. Then in a moment of weakness I cried, for the first time in a very long time and I admitted out loud in front of another human being what was eating me pretty much alive. What is strange is that build up of emotion, once released made a huge difference. It is still there, but is no longer governing everything else. Maybe to tell someone what I felt, and not have them rip into me for it is what I needed. I am not quite sure. All I know is I do not regret any decisions I have made, I regret that I did not take more time to see all the paths before me.

So all my ducks are lined in a row. Everything sorted out. Everything becoming clear. I’m slowly figuring out where I belong and where I do not. More and more lately as my career continues to be successful, other aspects of my life are slowly coming into order and into place. I have been my own worst enemy when it comes to finding a partner for this journey called life. I have had some excellent time for reflection… Change is coming…and it’s scary but also exciting.

Wow… that was all pretty deep. Let’s switch gears.

Work is going well. I’m busy all of the time. I will do my best not to say ALWAYS, because apparently that is a word along with NEVER that is used to frequently to make something more dramatic… and I am trying to stray from my Drama Queen ways. I’d like to pass the mantle on to someone else thanks..

Living at home has it’s ups and downs. I am looking forward to spending the Holiday with my family. It is something that was very special to us before Grampy passed 4 years ago. This year I vowed to myself to make it special again. Fill these halls with smiles, laughter and good times. I think I have my work cut out for me, however I am up to task.

I have maintained my weight. I have had other financial obligations that need straightened away before I can focus on the gym or weight watchers again. I’m hoping to be ready to commit back to it BEFORE the new years resolution rush.

14 Sleeps until we go see Twilight. I am SOOOO excited. I wish I had the first book here this weekend so I could re-read it. I may try to find an online copy just to get me all revved up for it again. Edward Cullen, I can’t wait to meet you… and your big brow on the big screen!

I have rambled on longer than I thought…but in the closing of this note for some reason some far away friends are in my thoughts today. Phil, Jody and Indi… all of you crossed my thoughts today. I hope life is well, and I cannot wait to see you all in a few short months!

X’s and O’s from the desk of a diva,

~Squigzella

Work is going well. Keeping me very busy but my boss was right… when he hired me he told me that there would be days I’d leave frustrated and stressed, but loving it the whole time. He was absolutely right. There are days I just get grr, but I love what I’m doing, I enjoy the people I have to deal with. It’s good.

Been doing great with the gym. I started weights on my arms and legs. Arms so that I’ll be toned as I lose weight on them, and my legs so my hamstrings will be toned for longer runs. I started running this week, based on a simple starting strategy: Walk one minute, run one minute. I have found I can run for 7 out of 15 minutes of walking. So not nearly as terrible as I thought. I’m quite pleased.

I have been very tired lately, but I think it’s the change in season coming more than anything because typically the gym energizes me, and in a few short weeks I’ll feel that energy again as we get ready for Halloween, then Christmas!

I’ve been trying to keep up with US Campaigning. I will admit I find it so much more sensationalized than Canadian Politics. Perhaps that’s what makes us so “Canadian”. Our PM isn’t a celebrity. I don’t personally care for Harper, but I see him as much more of a person than a political celebrity. Obama on the other hand… I close my eyes and feel as though I’m listening to the Rock exercising his mic skills on Monday Night Raw… getting the audience riled up about his opponent in the next pay per view, John McCain!

But there is something inspirational about Obama’s mic skills. He has a warm, charismatic voice. McCain is old…and old school, with a flighty Palin as his backup. The chances of this woman becoming President because McCain will not live throughout his term is HIGHLY probably, and very frightening. If the Americans wanted a woman in office, they would have nominated Mrs Bill Clinton…

I find myself laughing now… as I really have nothing to say on the impending Canadian Federal Election… It’s about tax dollars and cowboy hats. Maybe Harper needs to have an affair, or Dion needs to get caught smoking pot before I’ll be interested… or maybe it’s just that the media has desensitized us to fact and legislation and made politics about, sex, drugs and scandal?

Well that went on longer than I thought it would. Just random thoughts from a random mind today.

X’s and O’s

~Squigzella

I am back at the gym, and I went back to Weight Watchers on Saturday. I couldn’t go to the meeting because I got asked to help my Nan out with something and she had already made an appointment so it left me with little options, however I will be there for the meeting next Saturday. It was good to run into Judy…I can’t explain Judy, but seeing her always inspires me. So it was just good to see her smiling face when I got there Saturday morning.

Felt good to be back and know I only gained 4 pounds since July when I was last there. I had really gained more, but I over the past few weeks I started minding what I ate and shed the extra I did gain before going back. So at least I know I can do it right? Well I know I can do it. I made it this far. With going back to WW, I am also back at the gym. My first day back I run into an ex… too funny. Anyhow it seems we are both going to the same gym around the same time each day. At least I’ll have someone I can stop and gab with on occasion. Always makes the gym time pass faster.

Work is going well. Very busy and there just doesn’t seem to be enough time in my days but I haven’t drowned in my own paperwork yet.

Tuesday night we are off to Moncton to watch the Bruins play the Islanders in an exhibition game as part of Chris’s Bday festivities. I’m very excited. Hopefully we will see Lucic, Chara and maybe even Timmy Thomas… a girl can dream alright!

Last night about 20 of us went to Vito’s for Steve’s birthday, then we went back to his and Tara’s place for a few drinks. I wasn’t much in a drinking mood, so I just sat back and enjoyed the conversation. I wasn’t in a social mood most of my day and being around people was alright but sadly I wasn’t in the frame of mind to be my fun partying self. Nothing is particularly wrong, but yesterday I was very angry with someone for not minding their own business… and I let it get to me. But as things would have it, I found out that the very thing they interfered in my life for they are doing themselves… so the lesson… People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. That being said, I’m the better person and am going to mind my business. Either way, it made me a bit grr last night so I thought mixing rum with that would be a not so good idea. I do hope that Steve had a great birthday, and the cake Hil made was fantastic.

With that being said, I am off to play some World of Warcraft, it’s been two weeks!

X’s and O’s

~Squigzella

Thanks to Tara for lending me the first book in the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer I found myself totally wrapped up in this story. I read it on Sunday, and finished the last 40 pages this morning before I got out of bed. It takes a lot for a book to suck me in like that (pardon the pun) and prevent me from putting it down. I am eagerly awaiting some cash flow so I can run right out and get New Moon. I don’t know if I can wait. I sense that my new obsession can only be paralleled to the relentless need to watch everything Buffy and Angel once I discovered their tragic love story. I remember ordering VHS tapes from Amazon to satiate my need to know what happened next. This being before I could scour the net to find episodes. I’ve always been like this….weak in the knees for the dark prince, the dashing and tormented leading man, be him a vampire, a bat man, or the illustriously dashing strong and silent Mark Darcy that Jane Austen made so famous! So my heart is a flutter waiting to see what happens next. If you liked Angel and Buffy’s story, then I am confident you will love with Twilight has to offer. I only hope the novels that follow do not disappoint!

And now back to your regularly scheduled Monday.

Icy cold X’s and O’s

~Squigzella

I got a full time, well paying job! Actually I got two. The first job was with a large corporate giant, that I’m certain I would becoming just one of the many numbers that work for them. I’m certain they offer an excellent work environment where I can be a lemming until retirement. If I miss a step, it would likely go by unnoticed by the masses, and it would offer job security. The second job is with a smaller company, only 25 years old. They have an excellent reputation in the Maritimes, lots of incentives for fitness and education, a small work environment where my responsibility and accountability will be important and appreciated. The owner of the company will likely know me by name and meet me once a year if not more.

So I took the second job. It felt right so I made that choice. I do not start til September 2nd, so I’ll keep you posted on my guts actual instinct and let you know if it did in fact guide me in the right direction.

On top of that I did work one week with the other company before offering my resignation. I would not have been fully trained by the time I had to leave so we didn’t bother wasting each others time.

Our Yard Sale is finally a go for tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be nice and warm, lots of sun. I know the Dragon boat festival is going on in Renforth, I’m actually hoping that brings more folks out into the Valley. We’ll see. If we don’t have a good turn out, I am tempted to hit Rhodas for a few weeks and see what I can get rid of there before giving the rest to community living. There are a few clothing items I may post on Kijiji, as I know how well decent plus size clothing sells.

Something happened today that made my day….

I’m sure most would find it quite silly however a few years ago my late friend Rob Loder gave me a native choker he got from a vendor in Aroostook. I used to wear it when I played a Character named Dianas Vengence in the Old World of Darkness. I had thought I had lost it, or it had been ruined in the flood we had in our basement and it was lost forever. Today I found it… for a few brief moments I felt my friend near again. Just oddly gave me a sense of closure finding it. It was one of the few things he ever gave me and I just wanted to know where it had been. Miss him more and more as time goes on. But it was a happy thing, finding that choker. It made my day.

With these ramblings coming to a close I have to go to Mel’s house and prepare for her Birthday/Housewarming tonight. Not even sure who is showing up, just know we have enough food to feed an army! Good times.

X’s and O’s

~Squigzella

p.s.. I’m down 3 pounds!

With that being said there are a few things that need done as well once I have some cash that I will take care of as soon as I have enough to do it. Just an over all relief.

Having a yard sale this Saturday. 9 til 2. If you wanna come and need the address just send me a comment or an email at squigzella@gmail.com.

That’s all for now,

X’s and O’s

~Squigzella