Squigzella.com

The space between…

Ξ November 7th, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Blogging, Dave Matthews, Life, Weight Watchers |

It has been far too long since I updated. I have been fighting a cold for the past few days. It seems to have gotten to it’s worst here today, so I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll be feeling better.

I find myself lost in this very strange place lately. I’ve sort have been locked in my own prison of thoughts for awhile now trying to sort them out. Make it all make sense. For awhile I thought I needed some type of anti-depressant to help me figure things out. Then in a moment of weakness I cried, for the first time in a very long time and I admitted out loud in front of another human being what was eating me pretty much alive. What is strange is that build up of emotion, once released made a huge difference. It is still there, but is no longer governing everything else. Maybe to tell someone what I felt, and not have them rip into me for it is what I needed. I am not quite sure. All I know is I do not regret any decisions I have made, I regret that I did not take more time to see all the paths before me.

So all my ducks are lined in a row. Everything sorted out. Everything becoming clear. I’m slowly figuring out where I belong and where I do not. More and more lately as my career continues to be successful, other aspects of my life are slowly coming into order and into place. I have been my own worst enemy when it comes to finding a partner for this journey called life. I have had some excellent time for reflection… Change is coming…and it’s scary but also exciting.

Wow… that was all pretty deep. Let’s switch gears.

Work is going well. I’m busy all of the time. I will do my best not to say ALWAYS, because apparently that is a word along with NEVER that is used to frequently to make something more dramatic… and I am trying to stray from my Drama Queen ways. I’d like to pass the mantle on to someone else thanks..

Living at home has it’s ups and downs. I am looking forward to spending the Holiday with my family. It is something that was very special to us before Grampy passed 4 years ago. This year I vowed to myself to make it special again. Fill these halls with smiles, laughter and good times. I think I have my work cut out for me, however I am up to task.

I have maintained my weight. I have had other financial obligations that need straightened away before I can focus on the gym or weight watchers again. I’m hoping to be ready to commit back to it BEFORE the new years resolution rush.

14 Sleeps until we go see Twilight. I am SOOOO excited. I wish I had the first book here this weekend so I could re-read it. I may try to find an online copy just to get me all revved up for it again. Edward Cullen, I can’t wait to meet you… and your big brow on the big screen!

I have rambled on longer than I thought…but in the closing of this note for some reason some far away friends are in my thoughts today. Phil, Jody and Indi… all of you crossed my thoughts today. I hope life is well, and I cannot wait to see you all in a few short months!

X’s and O’s from the desk of a diva,

~Squigzella

 

Running woi man.

Ξ May 22nd, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Dave Matthews, Life |

So last night was my first French/Mandarin lesson. No it’s not a new language. I am teaching Katie french and she is teaching me mandarin. So my first lesson consisted of the vowels and the various sounds they make. Trying to keep one’s tongue flat while making sounds is very difficult and will take lots of practice. However I find myself very excited for the following weeks!!! Hopefully Katie wasn’t too bored with our first french lesson, we started with something simple, the alphabet and the simple Je, Tu, Il (Elle) etc.

I went for my first run in awhile tonight. I did 16 mins, 1 min of running with 1 min of walking. I feel great now and wonder if I should have gone longer but I didn’t want to push it. I may go again in the morning since tomorrow evening’s place likely don’t involve running.

Greg’s puppy shower is on Saturday. Can’t wait to get together with everyone, it will be nice. Hopefully it doesn’t rain. It would be great to get out in the yard and such and enjoy the sun.

I took Harry outside tonight, and he did not want to come in. So much so he hissed at me when I tried to bring him inside. So… I put him in his kennel and brought him inside. He remained in the kennel for a kitty time out, then I let him out and he hasn’t cried at the door since. I think he might be learning that he has to behave around here. LOL

In closing I feel like posting some Dave Lyrics… it’s been awhile..

 

“Steady As We Go”
I’d walk half way around the world,
Just to sit down by your side.
And I would do most anything girl,
To be the apple of your eye.
Troubles they may come and go,
But good times they are the gold.
And if this road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.
Any place you wanna go,
Know I’ll be next to you.
If it’s treasure baby you’re looking for,
I’ll search the whole world through.
Know troubles they may come and go,
But good times they’re the gold.
So if the road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.
When the storm comes,
You shelter me.
And I don’t say a word,
And you know exactly what I mean.
In the darkest times,
You shine on me.
You set me free.
And keep me steady as we go.
So if your heart rings dry my love,
I will fill your cup.
And if your load gets heavy girl,
I will lift you up.
Troubles they may come and go,
But good times be the gold.
So if this road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.
Ah
Hold me,
Shine on me.
Oh, shine, shine,
Shine on me.
Shine, shine
Yeah shine on me.
Hey shine.