I think I’m doing good considering.

So last Friday my Dad went in to potentially get two stints done in the arteries going to his heart. Both were too blocked to be done.
So now within the next 2-3 weeks he will go in for bypass surgery. He has (4) blockages. They are going to try to take veins from his chest before moving to his leg.
He will be laid up a minimum of 6 weeks for recovery.

Needless to say this was quite a blow to him, who thought this stint would fix him right up. A blow to the rest of us who just didn’t expect something so potentially life threatening to take place.

He is lucky, the Dr even said so. If they didn’t find this, on a fluke at that, he would have just taken the big one, and that would be it.
This is a very sensitive topic for me. I’ve had a hard time talking about it outside of the conversations in my own head.
I lost my grandfather, who I was very close with 9 years this March, due to heart issues. The thought of my Dad even going into surgery fills me with knuckle whitening terror. People can tell me it will be okay, that it’s done everyday, and on the outside I smile, nod and totally agree. On the inside, I am a little girl who is absolutely terrified of a world without her Daddy.

On top of all this, CAiNE of course is just two months away. We have a ton of work to get done. I’m putting in about an hour a day right now to make sure nothing falls off the radar, and I will potentially have to move as well because with Dad out of work, Mom and Dad may just have to put the house up and live more modestly, thus forcing me to move before my April/May plan.

My ever optimistic self needs to realize, I’m not alone. I have friends to be there to get me through all this hard stuff. Still, when sitting here staring at the blaring white screen and blinking cursor… it doesn’t always feel like a room full of friends.

Forgive me if the blog becomes a place to get some thought off my chest in the coming weeks. I just need it to escape my own head.

This weekend I am going to cook from “The Book”. I’ll let you know what I make, and how it turns out. Seriously contemplating Eggs Benny with Julia’s Hollandaise.

For the love of life and love of food,

~Squigzella

Decided what I am going to make out of Mastering the Art of French Cooking for a party I’m going to. Broiled Artichokes, which in turn come off in leaves, with Hollandaise for dipping!
I’m pretty jazzed, though I may try the Hollandaise sauce recipe in advance so I don’t screw it up the day of the party.

Went to WW on Saturday. I was down 3 pounds from my personal weigh in the week before. This pleased me greatly. Tracking I think will be the key to success this time around. I find when I keep track, I have better results. On goes the battle.

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

For the love of food,
~Squigzella

Really haven’t figure it all out. I’ve been reading wise words from a fellow blogger and really do find a bit of clarity in her weekly dose of wisdom. That being said, that clarity only lasts for a few hours then I feel myself drowning in the abyss of confusion over where I’m going with my life, how I want to treat myself physically and emotionally.

I know that a person has to want change to make it happen. I know that I need to believe deep down in what I’m doing to succeed.

I’m feeling a little defeated today. A wee case of the Mondays perhaps. I’m just hoping it passes and I get back on the horse.

Funny how one little “pebble”‘ can derail your efforts.

Here is to tomorrow, it is a new day.

~Squigzella

I haven’t counted how many days until my goal date, but I know it’s just over 6 months. I really have to buckle down. Part of the issue with fitness is my social schedule. I need to sit down, re-evaluate and maybe make some changes. I’m just on the go the second half of my week, which leaves no time to get out and do things. I may have to vito the work week activities or make them later so that I can get done what I need to, so that I’m taking care of me.

Haven’t had to settle on my “big decision” I mentioned last week, but the time is coming soon. I think I have it figured out. I’m going to test the waters today and see how it goes.

I’m on vacay Thursday and Friday this week. Looking forward to having some time off.

X’s and O’s
~Squigzella

This week presents some challenges. Some possible changes coming up, some big life decisions, OH MY!
I’m excited and terrified all at the same time, however all of these things have been a long time coming and I need to just take a deep breath, believe in myself and move forward.

This weekend was laid back, which I am ok with. Next weekend will be a bit more hectic. Off to see Hamlet Thursday, might see about taking Friday as a vacay day, Saturday I’d like to get to Calais if I don’t on Friday and then Sunday Hopewell Rocks if the weather holds.

This week I commit to: Tracking, Zumba on Tuesday, Zumba at home on Monday, Wednesday, drinking my water.

If I manage to do all of these, I am going to buy myself the coat I want at Old Navy.

Enjoy the week.
For the love of Food!

~Squigzella

Disappointment of the weekend: Going to Day Tripping at Rockwood at Noon on Saturday and being told there were no bikes left for rental, and the ones that were coming back were reserved for a special event…. yet it’s first come first serve?

I was more than disappointed. I recovered by going to Mispec and checking out the under used trails there. Which were overgrown but a good little hike.

I enjoyed a few s’mores over the weekend and some laughs. Roughed it on Saturday night camping and I didn’t sleep a wink. Needless to say I spent most of the day Sunday sleeping. Wasn’t so bad, it was a dreary day anyway.

Looking forward to the remaining weekends of summer. I am trying to make some plans to do some of the things I want to do. I got an invite stateside to visit friends and the more I think about it, the more I ask myself… WHY THE HELL NOT?!

On the food front, I feel in a rut however I am getting groceries tomorrow night. I am armed with a list.

Wish me luck.

X’s and O’s
~Squigzella