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Tonight I decided to go into my basement and dig through the boxes that my life was packed into a year ago. I thought well, if I haven’t really needed what’s in those boxes in a year, do I need them at all? Well of course some things I will need. Such as Linens, bedding, dishes etc. But in my rifling through old clothes that are far too big for me to my delight I found my wooden spoons. You have no idea how much I missed the simplest of things… a well seasoned wooden spoon. I was very happy to discover it, and now will enjoy cooking again. Laugh if you will but my wooden spoon was good for sauces, and baking and well everything!

Outside of that I did find my scrapbooking supplies as well which reminds me once again I need to print off new photos and get back to that hobby, which I have always enjoyed but never really had a lot of money to sink into it. I think I am going to take some money out of my next pay and get some photos done and go from there.

Back to the event planner notion. I have some ideas, and a few things I want to be really good at before I venture into the world of special occasion planning. But it’s in my bonnet and growing. Kind of exciting to be creative about something again. Feels like it’s been awhile.

It has also been awhile since I’ve been back at Weight Watchers… I’m bad. I want to lose the weight but my head just isn’t there, I want it to be there. I think I might just suck it up, go back and vow to not quit. I have a goal in mind, I’ve been successful before, I’m not sure why all of the sudden I have self doubt. Just need to get back on the horse. We’ll see if I’m there on Saturday….

Until then, stay frosty.

PS  How many sleeps boys?

Easter Sunday. First Easter in a long time the friends haven’t gotten together for a bunch or a BBQ. I realized that today. But next weekend will be busy with Tara’s Red and Black Bday Bash on Saturday night and Mike and Cole’s Baby Shower on Sunday. Summer is just around the corner and schedules start to get busy.

This time of year is always exceptionally difficult on me. A few years ago I had some personal issues that were very hard on me. During that time I also lost one of my close friends. So between the first of April and the end of May it is an uphill battle to keep my shiny disposition. That being said it has also been very hard for me to stay focused on my fitness and weight loss goals, because I want to eat based on emotions. *sigh* It’s hard. However on the positive note, I have one friend near by and one who is far away I have been able to talk to about most of these issues and really found that I have the inner strength to get through.

Really I need to focus on the fact that my experiences in life have made me stronger and primed me to better handle whatever else might come my way. In saying that I need to acknowledge that it isn’t always easy, but the experience I’ve had have shaped me into who I am now, but I should not let them govern how I continue to live my life. Hardships have been endured and survived. I’m still here.

That’s something.

This week went by so fast. Work is SO busy that there just isn’t enough time in my days. I spent a few days there super early this week and stayed after 5 a few times. Year end for the Government is making my life busy…But that’s ok. Means we are making money right?

We go away in 17 days. I can’t believe how fast it is creeping up. I need to find a less formal outfit for one of the events. I am going to do some shopping this week and hopefully I’ll find something.

I was so exhausted I didn’t go to WW yesterday. I should have. But I didn’t. I did get on the scale and I am down just under a pound from last week. Ill be back next Sat of course. I was just so burned out I couldn’t pry myself out of bed to go.

On the topic of WW, I am starting to feel a difference in my clothes. God I love that feeling. I suspect by the end of March I’ll need to get new jeans, if not before. Mine are coming off without being undone now, but they are still comfy and don’t look *too* big.

I am eager to get things organized with Tara for her wedding in October, which reminds me to send her a To Do list we made. We are going out on Tuesday night, I’m looking forward to it. I didn’t realize how much we had been hanging out until she is now back to work, D&D was cancelled and I haven’t seen her. I miss her! So I’m looking forward to hanging out on Tuesday. Hopefully the weather won’t cancel D&D on us again this week.

Dave is coming… I want to go… Well to Montreal and Boston. I wanna go… I wanna go…

On a personal note, I got some stuff off my chest last night… and I feel better. I am always surprised by the compassion and understanding of some people in my life. I am truly blessed.

off to get groceries I go.

X’s and O’s

~Squigzella

So I survived he birthday party last night. The day started off yesterday with some shovelling of snow. Which was awesome exercise. Actually, I’ll back track to Friday. I went to WW on Friday morning and had yet another loss! YAY! I’m very happy. It’s a good loss too. Not too big, not too small. I went to work and at lunch my Co-Workers have me a small cake. I smiled and cut a small piece and enjoyed it. I brought the rest to my Nan for her to enjoy. So Friday night we all went to Army Of Darkness. It was a midnight movie at Empire 10. It was pretty much sold out. It was a good time.

So yeah, Saturday. Shovelling. Then Mom brought me in town. Tara and I started cooking. We made some good eats too. I think my favs were the Jalapenos I made and the dip Tara made.

They got me a cake, with Edward Cullen on it. LOL Chris edited the photo so it said “Hope your birthday doesn’t suck, Love Edward”. Thought it was pretty funny. I also got a bear from Tara with a Tshirt that says “Real Vampires don’t sparkle” *giggles* You would think I’m obsessed or something. Barry got me some comics from my folder at the store and Chris got me Dr Horrible on DVD! I didn’t expect prezzies so it was a nice treat. Thank you!

So…we drank our faces off…many many shots. I wasn’t feeling any pain, and honestly I think everyone there was pretty ripped. It was awesome. Speaking of ripped, Tara and I owe Carter a wife beater…. Sorry… We were just mesmerized by your hotness!

Many stories I could tell, but you know what? I just can’t do them justice. Just thanks to everyone for coming out and making this a very awesome birthday! But man does my body ever feel 31 today…

I also got prezzies from family today. Mom and Dad got me an Griffin iTrip for my car. So now I can use my iPod in the car. Nan got me a car charger for my cell phone, which was much needed.  All these gadgets!

So now I am gonna go have my Bday supper, and enjoy Lasagna, Garlic Bread and a piece of chocolate Birthday cake.

So much has changed in the past few years. I’m eager to see where this year takes me.

X’s and O’s

~The Diva of the FLN, Squigzella

It is ridiculously early. I went to bed early which in turn caused me to wake up at 5:20, wide awake. So I took the time to just do some reading and such. Going to pry myself out of bed shortly.

Going to WW this morning to weigh in on my way to work. Figure it’s the best time with how crazy the weekend is going to be. We are going to the Midnight showing of Army of Darkness tonight. Meeting up at Boston Pizza at 10pm with everyone for some eats. (Not sure if I’ll be eating anything but I’ll be there)

Tomorrow night is the Bday Bash. Have to pick up eats to make. May do that tonight after work. Not too sure yet. I know I am making bacon wrapped Jalapenos, I’m not sure what else yet… I have a list.

This week has been interesting. Earlier in the week Tara and Steve asked me to be in their wedding! So I am going to be a bridesmaid in October. Should be fun. On Thursday morning I was driving to work, and for the first time in 15 years of driving I had the scare of my life. The roads were terrible, and what happened could have been alot worse, but likely not avoided. I skidded down Chesley Drive, and spun  into 360’s before finally stopping facing up the hill, and a SUV going through the same thing I just had. I had to reverse down the hill so he wouldn’t crash into me, and then I just turned around and got on the bridge… It rattled me good. But like Barry said, after a few days I can laugh about it, and call it an adventure… I’m not there yet, so give me a few days. It was effing scary!

I have half a blog post written on turning 31 (29 with two years experience). I will finish it up on my birthday and post it…

Bring on the weekend!

X’s and O’s

~Squigzella

The week was a bit chaotic. Work was crazy. A big project started, and on Wednesday afternoon, we were confident it would go off without a hitch. Everything was in order. That night when they started anything that could have went wrong did, and trickled out to Friday. I think most things have been corrected for now as best they can be, and we carry on.
I felt a bit overwhelmed at work mid-week, but I survived. Just took my time getting through what was on my desk and in doing so got more done than I thought I would.

My first full week back at WW was fantastic. I watched my hunger and used filling foods and tracked everything. In the end I was down 1.6 pounds! I’m pleased because I didn’t have the chance to get as much exercise in as I would have liked, and it is that ungodly week of the month. So typically I wouldn’t even lose this weeks when I was going before. This should make for a really interesting turn out next week on the scale.

That being said, I am going to weigh in on Thursday night or Friday morning as we are crazy busy next weekend and after being out til 2:30 on Friday night, and my birthday party being Saturday night I don’t want to be out for a meeting at 9am on Saturday morning.

Everything is booked for our trip in March. I’m getting very excited. It has been far too long since the trio has left the province for some fun. This trip we have a companion with us. One that won’t be a drama queen and ruin our trip! Good old Slavesheep will be coming and I’ll be honest I think he is going to make the train ride an adventure. Where he is fun and laughter usually follow.

I am on a quest today to find some new music. With that I’ll also post a new pic of me that was taken my Chris. We were testing lighting, this one is blown out too much, but I just love it anyway!

Photo courtesy of Chris Duffield.

I got my winter tires today. Set me back a cool $520 bucks! However now my car drives like a tank. So winter should not be too much of a challenge. Work today was a bit insane. We were in Moncton for a meeting at 9am. Left to come back around 1pm. I dropped off my car, went to the office til shortly before 5… Realized that some truckers are idiots who don’t care about their customers apparently, and then picked up my car with her new tires!

The long version of the stupid trucker. He had cargo of ours to deliver to the Refinery for tomorrow morning at 9am. After being advised several times to NOT deliver until that time, he went over there at 4pm today and delivered it… without our consent, without an appointment and without our Installer…
I’m still pretty ticked. It will be interesting to see if there is a fallout. This was just one of many bad experiences we’ve had with them as of late.

On a much happier note, I have reconnected with an old friend of mine from my younger years. We are going out for coffee this week and some Christmas shopping over the next few weeks. I’m really glad we ran into each other a few weeks back. It’s nice to have old friends back in your life sometimes. Especially if they are ones you missed.
Back to the point counting for two weeks now. I’m down 3 pounds.
I’m happy about that.
That’s all from my side of the world.
X’s and O’s
~Squigzella

I am so frustrated…

I don’t know where to begin here. I want a few things in my life that are just outside my grasp. Suddenly I feel closer to them and then just as quickly something comes along to remind me I’m not as close to it as I thought.

An example of this… I REALLY want to be back at WW. But Christmas is coming, I have to put snow tires on my car and that leaves me with no start up cash to rejoin. Really frustrates me because I’m trying on my own. I did actually lose 2.2 pounds this week. FINALLY! However I know I need that support network and yet it is outside my grasp.

Maybe I just hate how my life right now is all about how much money I don’t have. Mind you I keep telling myself in a few months it won’t be like that. Tires will be on the car, Christmas will be over. I’ll be saving for Toronto, and a couch set and before you know it I’ll have some savings and be moving back into the city. I know it’s not that far off. Just feels that way right now. I just need to get through it. I know that. It’s just difficult and frustrating.

Outside of these issues, work is going well. We have a bit of stress right now because we have to change a few processes to fine tune things, however I think it is within our grasp. Just need to buckle down and I think if everyone does, and we all share the same vision we’ll do alright.

As for actual Christmas…I am working on prezzies today. I’m excited about them, I can only hope they turn out the way I want. It will be an inexpensive yet thoughtful way to spread the holiday cheer. I am buying for a few people I didn’t last year, but there are also a few I am not buying for so I think it balances out.

So I have to get to work on that today as I have to mail out a friends box of stuff soon. So I need to make sure everything is ready to go in it! before this coming Friday.

Been a good week. Weather has been mild but wet for what seems like forever. I oddly feel like we have switched coasts of Canada and someone forgot to mention it to me. I had hoped to go out today to run downtown to do a few errands but I hear parts of the Valley are without power and it is just plain icky out.

So today will be spent working on Christmas Cards and Crafts. Not such a bad idea.

I have my lists made of who I need to buy for. I have a good idea for everyone, so it shouldn’t be too difficult this year. That being said I have some personal expenses I need to take care of first which could cause me some issues, but I am going to try to figure it out. Licensing of car, renewal of insurance… all a pain in my butt, because I also need WINTER TIRES! Which I still don’t have. *cries*

That is stressing me out just a little bit.

Went to see The Spencers at the Imperial on Thursday. Hil scored us some tickets from work. It was a traditional magic show. It was kewl. I don’t know if I would have paid for tickets, but it was entertaining.

Going to see Chicago this upcoming weekend. Can’t wait! Think it is going to be pretty awesome. Friday night is TWILIGHT! 5 Sleeps!

Spent the day shopping with Gerry yesterday. He got new shoes. I got new undies which were much needed. Started back on completely counting points today. Going to see how it goes.

Sunday Points eaten and planned:

Bacon (4)

Eggs (4)

WW Toast (3)

3 Cookies (3)

Ham (3)

Beans(4)

2 Plums (2)

1/2 Pom (1)

Total: 24 Balance : 6

Send me your supportive vibes. I need’ em. Even though I haven’t gained, I finally don’t feel like I’ve lost anything at all because I have stayed the same size too long… LOL so it’s time to get down a jean size. It’s overdue!

~squigzella

It has been far too long since I updated. I have been fighting a cold for the past few days. It seems to have gotten to it’s worst here today, so I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll be feeling better.

I find myself lost in this very strange place lately. I’ve sort have been locked in my own prison of thoughts for awhile now trying to sort them out. Make it all make sense. For awhile I thought I needed some type of anti-depressant to help me figure things out. Then in a moment of weakness I cried, for the first time in a very long time and I admitted out loud in front of another human being what was eating me pretty much alive. What is strange is that build up of emotion, once released made a huge difference. It is still there, but is no longer governing everything else. Maybe to tell someone what I felt, and not have them rip into me for it is what I needed. I am not quite sure. All I know is I do not regret any decisions I have made, I regret that I did not take more time to see all the paths before me.

So all my ducks are lined in a row. Everything sorted out. Everything becoming clear. I’m slowly figuring out where I belong and where I do not. More and more lately as my career continues to be successful, other aspects of my life are slowly coming into order and into place. I have been my own worst enemy when it comes to finding a partner for this journey called life. I have had some excellent time for reflection… Change is coming…and it’s scary but also exciting.

Wow… that was all pretty deep. Let’s switch gears.

Work is going well. I’m busy all of the time. I will do my best not to say ALWAYS, because apparently that is a word along with NEVER that is used to frequently to make something more dramatic… and I am trying to stray from my Drama Queen ways. I’d like to pass the mantle on to someone else thanks..

Living at home has it’s ups and downs. I am looking forward to spending the Holiday with my family. It is something that was very special to us before Grampy passed 4 years ago. This year I vowed to myself to make it special again. Fill these halls with smiles, laughter and good times. I think I have my work cut out for me, however I am up to task.

I have maintained my weight. I have had other financial obligations that need straightened away before I can focus on the gym or weight watchers again. I’m hoping to be ready to commit back to it BEFORE the new years resolution rush.

14 Sleeps until we go see Twilight. I am SOOOO excited. I wish I had the first book here this weekend so I could re-read it. I may try to find an online copy just to get me all revved up for it again. Edward Cullen, I can’t wait to meet you… and your big brow on the big screen!

I have rambled on longer than I thought…but in the closing of this note for some reason some far away friends are in my thoughts today. Phil, Jody and Indi… all of you crossed my thoughts today. I hope life is well, and I cannot wait to see you all in a few short months!

X’s and O’s from the desk of a diva,

~Squigzella