I think I’m doing good considering.

So last Friday my Dad went in to potentially get two stints done in the arteries going to his heart. Both were too blocked to be done.
So now within the next 2-3 weeks he will go in for bypass surgery. He has (4) blockages. They are going to try to take veins from his chest before moving to his leg.
He will be laid up a minimum of 6 weeks for recovery.

Needless to say this was quite a blow to him, who thought this stint would fix him right up. A blow to the rest of us who just didn’t expect something so potentially life threatening to take place.

He is lucky, the Dr even said so. If they didn’t find this, on a fluke at that, he would have just taken the big one, and that would be it.
This is a very sensitive topic for me. I’ve had a hard time talking about it outside of the conversations in my own head.
I lost my grandfather, who I was very close with 9 years this March, due to heart issues. The thought of my Dad even going into surgery fills me with knuckle whitening terror. People can tell me it will be okay, that it’s done everyday, and on the outside I smile, nod and totally agree. On the inside, I am a little girl who is absolutely terrified of a world without her Daddy.

On top of all this, CAiNE of course is just two months away. We have a ton of work to get done. I’m putting in about an hour a day right now to make sure nothing falls off the radar, and I will potentially have to move as well because with Dad out of work, Mom and Dad may just have to put the house up and live more modestly, thus forcing me to move before my April/May plan.

My ever optimistic self needs to realize, I’m not alone. I have friends to be there to get me through all this hard stuff. Still, when sitting here staring at the blaring white screen and blinking cursor… it doesn’t always feel like a room full of friends.

Forgive me if the blog becomes a place to get some thought off my chest in the coming weeks. I just need it to escape my own head.

This weekend I am going to cook from “The Book”. I’ll let you know what I make, and how it turns out. Seriously contemplating Eggs Benny with Julia’s Hollandaise.

For the love of life and love of food,

~Squigzella

Disappointment of the weekend: Going to Day Tripping at Rockwood at Noon on Saturday and being told there were no bikes left for rental, and the ones that were coming back were reserved for a special event…. yet it’s first come first serve?

I was more than disappointed. I recovered by going to Mispec and checking out the under used trails there. Which were overgrown but a good little hike.

I enjoyed a few s’mores over the weekend and some laughs. Roughed it on Saturday night camping and I didn’t sleep a wink. Needless to say I spent most of the day Sunday sleeping. Wasn’t so bad, it was a dreary day anyway.

Looking forward to the remaining weekends of summer. I am trying to make some plans to do some of the things I want to do. I got an invite stateside to visit friends and the more I think about it, the more I ask myself… WHY THE HELL NOT?!

On the food front, I feel in a rut however I am getting groceries tomorrow night. I am armed with a list.

Wish me luck.

X’s and O’s
~Squigzella

It was another uneventful long weekend this summer. The lack of doing much of anything this summer really has me blue. You see “I” have lots of exciting things I want to do. But I have friends who can’t commit to things until the last minute and I’m a planner. I’m not slamming my friends. I’m just frustrated.

I really want/wanted to do the following this summer:

Go camping at New River
Go to Hopewell Rocks at Low Tide
Hike the Fundy Trail
Rent a bike and do the trails at Rockwood
Try Geo-cashing

and those are just a few…

So it’s August 1st, let’s see how much of those I get done before the snow flies.

I did get to see Captain America last night. I really enjoyed it. It was a good primer for his story, and has me very excited to see the Avengers movie when it comes out.

Lastly for today… CAiNE is 7 months away. This is our national convention for our LARP club. There will be about 120 people coming to SJ for 4 days. I’ve been telling myself for a month that I need to set out my final weight goal and strive to hit it for March. I’ve been mulling it over, thinking about what changes I can make. (I’ve been going to Zumba and playing it on the Wii as previously blogged) but what else can I do?

I’ve been eating more lately for pleasure. Some things in my life just aren’t going along at the pace I’d like and food is as always comforting. I used to be able to find comfort in cooking healthy foods. I still do… but I’m never home because it’s summer. So… I enjoy take out food more than I should. I’ve managed to NOT gain any of my weight lost back, but it is a slippery slope.

So… on to of lots of deep thinking and reading a fellow bloggers new found “fire in the belly” to get healthy I’m going to re-collect my focus and do my best to meet my March goal.

Today I weight 209lbs. Since this journey originally began I am down 57 from my starting weight.

49 more to go.

For the love of food,
~Squigzella

Lately I feel like a caged animal who needs out, needs adventure and exploration. I started Zumba classes, picked it up for the Wii as well and have been playing it religiously. It’s a great workout. So glad I spent the $30.00.

Started working on some more creative writing, though I usually do that in the winter, I had the bug for a few weeks and have it a go. Just in the editing process now. We shall see what comes out of it.

Promise, promise to write more this weekend and post some photos. I need to force myself out of this self imposed rut.

I’m still losing weight, I’m at 213 square. I weigh in tomorrow again if the weather isn’t suck. I’ll try to post more on that then.

I’ve been struggling a bit on some big decisions. Been losing alot of sleep over it. I dislike that greatly. Thanks to a friend and their inspiring words I’ve been given some deeper/bigger things to think about and it just might get me through these growing pains.

I went to a Business Partners Open House last night. I didn’t want to stay too long, I was alone. No co-workers to go with me. When I go to those things I always have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I have when I’d go for a job interview. Odd though, because after I left I thought to myself “I should have stopped and talked to so and so more.” Or “I should have just introduced myself to the people I didn’t know.” But I didn’t. There were a few funny moments… I enjoy my competition making an ass of himself in front of our Company’s owners cousin. That’s a story for another day. But I can tell you, it made me smile the whole way home!

This weekend I plan on doing some organizing of my room. It’s grown cluttered over the winter, I’m feeling the need to purge. Also going to make homemade French Onion soup, again! It was so good the last time, also debating trying Michael Smith’s Cinnamon Rolls. I’ve been eyeing the recipe for a few weeks, but it’s very time consuming. We’ll see the mood I’m in tomorrow. I want to enjoy a quiet weekend as the weekends following will be busy wax sealing envelopes, and ironing T-shirts.

It’s that time of day where I have to head out the door to work. Wishing you all a lovely day and weekend!

~Squigzella

huzzah!

Ok, so I’m a bit pleased with my progress on the new Points Plus program! I’ve followed it, I’ve indulged with my flex points, it’s been good. I’m enjoying fresh foods, and the only pre packaged things I’m eating is soup! Ok so enough about that, but only 13.4 more pounds until my first big goal. To reach my lowest adult weight, I need to reach 206…. so close!

Since New Years I feel like the weeks are flying by. Last Saturday night our friend Bill got in, on Sunday we went Snow Shoeing as previously mentioned, Tuesday night I enjoyed a lovely meal at Billy’s Seafood Company with Mr. Sherman. I highly recommend Billy’s for the seafood lover, lots of yummy options.

Work was good. Some big things happening I’m excited about. Nice to see some hard work paying off. I’m pleased.

Had a really good conversation with M. Sherman on Tuesday night about a great lot of things. Talked about knowing when you’ve met the right person and how to seek and pursue the career you want. I left the conversation with some new things to think about. I love when a good conversation can open your eyes a little wider to see the deep corners of the picture you are currently looking at, so Thank you to one of my most cherished friends.

According to my counter there are 53 sleeps until we leave for Montreal. I can’t wait. I believe we are taking Jared’s car instead of mine (more room for Hilary’s closet tee hee). Be nice for a change.

With that, I’m off to enjoy an evening with friends. Though it is so cold, staying home curled in my Bruins Couch Cozy is sooo tempting!

I celebrated my birthday in February – begrudgingly. I am not liking my 30’s yet, even though people keep telling me they are the best. Perhaps 2011 will reveal that.

In March we ventured off to CAINE in Trois Rivieres. During this time the best kept secret was revealed. For months Bill and I worked on a Trustee packet for Chris D and it all came to fruition. That definitely made it worth the wait. He was totally shocked.

Spring turned to summer and the time just flew by. We visited Jared and Vicki in Halifax and planned to go down to help them move back.

Before we knew it summer was over and it was time to help move them back to NB. After 4 long years away, it was wonderful to help move them home.

Towards the end of summer I also decided I would go back to Weight Watchers. I believe I started back August 24th. I’m still going strong. I have a goal for Caine 2011. I’m not far off. (wish me luck and self discipline)

The fall was relatively quiet until Sean and Kaylee made their appearances into the world. In the fall we also got news that we officially got CAINE 2012. This means the next year and a half is going to go by in a blink!

So wrap up the year… November Bill made his way back to NB for work and spent a few days with us. Rumour has it he will be back again in January. December I did way too much Christmas shopping and had my share of ups and down with my work environment. Having two weeks off for the Holiday Season has been just what I needed.

Now for 2011 -

-Continue on with Weight Watchers and hit my first big goal by March 17th, 2011

-Find an apartment with my dream kitchen.

-Buy a new sofa set for said apartment.

-Make the journey to a friends Wedding in a far away land.

-Travel a bit more, and plan to travel more after CAINE 2012

-Stay motivated and keep the team focused on fundraising for CAINE 2012

-Take up a new hobby

- Open up a savings account for Travel.

-Purge all my old clothes I have been hanging on to.

-Remind the people in my life how important they are to me, more often.

Well I think that’s all for now. Let’s look back on this in a few months and see where I am at.

Happiness and Health in 2011.

I was very surprised to see that since I stopped going in the late spring early summer, I have only gained 3 pounds back. In my mind… it felt like all of the weight I had ever lost came back.

I decided to make use of this blog space by chronicling my journey, and being loyal to posting. This is a commitment I’m making to myself. Of course comments, feedback and all that fun stuff will obviously make it much more fun for me to use this forum, so please…let it be interactive.

Without further adieu:

Weigh in: 225.6lbs

Chest: 46.5 inches

Waist: 44 inches

Hips: 51 inches

Now that these numbers are out there… there is no hiding from them.

Let’s see how this journey goes.

Week one down of eating healthy, and I have lost 5lbs even. Can’t believe it. For about two months I went completely off the rails but due to the previously mentioned tummy troubles I had to jump back on the wagon. Honestly I haven’t felt better about it. My body did the talking and I listened.

After losing 50lbs… it’s a mental block to get passed anything. But I think I realize the bigger picture now.

This week promises to be busy work wise. Outside of work, I want to get some walking in and perhaps a bit of creative writing. I’ve been thinking of a few ideas for some creative writing projects and I really need to take the time to put into them. I remember when I used to crank the tunes, sit at my computer for hours and write and write and write…that doesn’t happen anymore. In part I think it’s because I don’t have a proper desk for my computer… which prevents long periods of sitting at it (this is good and bad).

Maybe I need to revisit how my space is laid out and what I can do to improve it.

On that note, I am off to enjoy this beautiful Sunday afternoon.

X’s and O’s

~Squigzella

Summer is here, and it’s been nice since April, I hope that means it’s going to be nice through to the fall… with little rain and lots of rays. I can hope.

Work had a short lull and since then I have been crazy busy. Trying to stay organized when I have 10 tasks coming at me from all directions is difficult but it’s also been a lesson in learning to delegate work to others. I don’t like doing it, but it’s a fact of the workplace. Or so I’m told.

I have an extra long weekend ahead. I took Friday off which means I only work three days this week, and have a 4 day weekend. Looking forward to the extra downtime. No big plans, but looking forward to having some fun during that time. Hopefully I will decide on a new camera before then!

July is shaping up to be quite busy. Between the holiday weekend, Weddings and Slavesheep and family moving it’s going to make the time fly.

Moondagger, Fur and I are going to see Eclipse in a midnight showing on Tuesday night, then I have a Dr’s appointment on Wednesday morning… then I’m off to work. Yeah, I’m a sucker. Oh well, then I’m off for 4 days. Tee hee.

X’s and O’s

~Squigzella